


Never Let Me Go

by sensalito



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Child Death, Djinni & Genies, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sensalito/pseuds/sensalito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't understand how it happens... One moment he is running towards the Hale house in the middle of a rainy day; the next it's dawn and he can hear her voice calling for him from the porch.</p><p>"Peter? Dinner's ready!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title's from the song of the same name by Florence + The Machine. It inspired this whole fic along with the movie Shutter Island and they both made me cry (still do). A lot. So there you go.
> 
> Not beta-read, as usual.

Today's the day. It's been 8 years... 8 years he's lost them all. 8 years without her smile. Without his son. He's never wished so much than on this precise day every year to have died along with them. Or that he could bring them back, somehow. He wishes so much he could have them again, if only for a day.

His eyes look right back at him, bleak, on the surface of the lake he passes by.

_Looking out from underneath,_  
_Fractured moonlight on the sea_  
_Reflections still look the same to me,_  
_As before I went under_

He doesn't understand how it happens... One moment he is running towards the Hale house in the middle of a rainy day; the next it's dawn and clear and he can hear her voice calling for him from the porch.

"Peter? Dinner's ready!"

It's like a suckerpunch; he stops dead in his track at the treeline, almost fall to his knees at the sight before him. It's an hallucination. He's been poisoned, surely or-

"Peter, are you alright?" He shakes his head to clear it, looks back towards her: she looks concerned, leaning forward, one foot on the steps, like she's thinking of going to him.

Olivia.

His feet move even before he makes the conscious decision of walking.

He realizes belatedly that it's not raining anymore, that it looks and smells like it hasn't rained in a while even: it feels like summer. His clothes are dry.

He's barely three feet away from her now, barely two strides forward and he could have her in his arms. He does exactly that.

"Peter." Her voice is soft, like silk, her breath brushing his cheek delicately; his heart beats for the first time in a decade, it seems like. Her smell wafts in his nostrils and he almost collapses because baby powder and honey and sun and strawberry shampoo and _them_.

_And it's peaceful in the deep,_  
_Cause either way you cannot breathe,_  
_No need to pray, no need to speak_  
_Now I am under, Oh_

A soft cry makes him look towards the house; there, on the ground on hands and knees, crawling all over the carpet and trying to reach the door, is his son. He looks tiny; Peter wants to cry.

"It's almost his bedtime, he must be tired." Olivia mutters: she looks concerned again, like she thinks he might be sick or something; she's frowning a little. He nods and goes to take Gabriel in his arms: she stops him with a hand on his arm.

"You alright?" Her head is tilted, her eyes knowing; he aches but nods anyway, his face blank: it won't last.

Her hand slides up his arm, brushes his nape as he leans down to scoop his child. The weight of him... Perhaps he didn't know pain before. Perhaps life was even crueller than he thought; Gaby buries his face in Peter's neck, oblivious.

They enter the house then; it's warm inside, the smell of lasagna cooking in the oven fills the hallway and the familiarity of it makes Peter want to scream; he doesn't.

He stalls in the hall, listening to Olivia putter in the kitchen and staring at the wall where dozens of pictures hang. His life in technicolor before his very eyes.

He feels heavy.

He sighs, the air unsettling the hair on Gaby's head. Takes a moment to process everything.

_And it's breaking over me,_  
_A thousand miles down to the sea bed,_  
_Found the place to rest my head._

He gives in.

_Never let me go, never let me go._  
_Never let me go, never let me go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,  
> And all this devotion was rushing over me,  
> And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,  
> But the arms of the ocean deliver me
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated: encourages me to pursue the delusion I do not suck at this


	2. Chapter 2

It does last a little while.

On the fifth day, he sits down in the rocking chair in the library while Gabriel takes a nap on his chest and cracks an obscure book book whose title's in latin: something about alternate universes and worlds colliding _._  It teaches him that all of this might just be that he somehow unknowingly took a passageway towards this dimension where Kate Argent doesn't exist while his double is stuck in his world.

He feels bad for the guy. Doesn't mean he wouldn't stay here forever if he could. He decides he doesn't really care to know how in the end and doesn't set foot in the library again; he's going to make the most of this while it lasts.

_Though the pressure's hard to take,_  
_It's the only way I can escape,_  
_It seems a heavy choice to make,_  
_But now I am under, Oh_

On the seventh day he begins to feel a tightness across his chest, like there's a band there, tied too tightly and overtime he's going to suffocate because of it: he ignores it and it passes after five minutes or so.

He's spending as much time as he can touching Olivia and Gabriel, is never alone in a room unless absolutely necessary and even stops Olivia from going grocery shopping, afraid she might now come back; she doesn't comment but her eyes tells him all he needs to know: she knows something's up because while Olivia may not be a werewolf, she's got a sharp eye.

On the tenth day, the rubber band is back around his chest. This time he's so winded he ends up leaning against a doorjamb for a full minute before he manages to slink off to the couch to sit down. He briefly thinks about going back to the library to continue the aborted researches but decides not to when the feeling goes away.

_And it's breaking over me,_  
_A thousand miles down to the sea bed,_  
_Found the place to rest my head_

On the twelth day, he realizes with a start that for the first time in his life, he's breathless. He's climbing the stairs to put Gabriel down for the night when he has to stop midway because he suddenly can't fill his lungs properly.

That night, as he's settling in bed with Olivia's head on his shoulder, Peter decides he'll take a peek at the bestiary the following day.

In the morning, after feeding Gabriel his breakfast, Peter makes his way to the library and look at the row of books that might held an answer. He finds it completely by chance: _On_ _Modern Oneirology and the Empirical Grounding of the Supernatural_.

Just as he opens the book, the rubber band comes back with a vengeance: the wind is knocked out of him so hard and fast, it feels like he got punched in the stomach and he's left on his hands and knees panting.

Not long left then.

He reads through three quarters of the book before he finds the Djinns...

He makes love to Olivia the same night, an edge of desperation showing in his eyes she doesn't comment on: she clutches at him so hard she leaves marks and draws blood; they sleep intertwined so tightly, you wouldn't know where one began and the other end.

He knows it's coming. He knows why and how. He doesn't have long. He could probably wake up if he wanted; the thing is, he doesn't.

_Never let me go, never let me go._  
_Never let me go, never let me go._

On the fifteenth day, there's dread in his stomach: he doesn't understand though because the book specified he had at least 21 days in dream land before death occurred. Something about time and how it passes differently from one world to the other and how much time it took to drain a supernatural being vs a human. So he shrugs it off as best he can but keeps both Olivia and Gabriel even closer to him than he did the past two weeks.

"You're leaving."

It's out of nowhere and startles Peter so badly he almost breaks the glass in his hands.

Olivia. Of course she would notice. It's a statement too, not a question and he's left wondering if perhaps she felt it all along, if maybe she knows everything. She might have figured it out the instant he stepped on the porch that night, knowing her.

"Never." And even if it feels like a lie, he means it.

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,_  
_And all this devotion was rushing over (out of) me,_  
_And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,_  
_But the arms of the ocean deliver me_

In the evening, he puts an old record of Jazz she inherited from her father and invited her to dance. They pushed the coffe table aside and swayed gently from side to side for a good hour before he felt it: the rubber band.

Except this time it was loosening. Like this whole time he had it and only felt it now it was leaving.

Olivia gasped and clutched at him.

"Peter, I-" Her voice is pained and suddenly the smell of blood fill his nose. "I love you... So much and-"

The cries of his son echoes in the house as the music deforms in his ears: it's like he's in a bubble and sounds come from far away.

He looks down at his hands, wet for some reason: blood. Olivia grips his shoulders hard, trying to stay upright.

"Peter, listen to me! You said-", she gasps wetly and he can't focus, things blur and mash together, "You said never! PETER YOU SAID NEVER! DON'T GO! STAY WITH ME, PLEASE!"

The cries coming from upstairs are almost completely drowned by his own heartbeat and the scritches of the music along with Olivia's shouting.

"Peter I'm so cold... Hold me. Hold me, please!" She's sobbing openly in his arms and the pain blooming through his body as he watches her bleeding out knows no bounds. They crumple on the floor as the walls go up in flames around them.

He can't hear Gabriel anymore.

Ashes fall down from the open skies outside. The world is on fire and she's dying.

He wants to scream because it's unfair. (He doesn't). It's unfair to give him everything back just to snatch it away from him again. It's not fucking fair to make him go through this once more! It's not-

He lays her down properly as chaos gives place to an eerie silence.

He bestows on her soft lips a last kiss as everything collapses.

_And it's over,_  
_And I'm going under,_  
_But I'm not giving up!_  
_I'm just giving in_  
  
_Oh, slipping underneath._  
_Oh, so cold, but so sweet_

 

He gives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out please
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated: encourages me to pursue the delusion that I do not suck at this
> 
> (Constructive criticism is also welcome, you're allowed to not like it)


	3. Chapter 3

_In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,_  
_And all this devotion I never knew at all,_  
_And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,_  
_And the arms of the ocean, deliver me_

When he opens his eyes again, he's in a bed. Not his but Derek's by the smell of it. He can almost see the sky through the charred ceiling.

He takes a moment to breathe in, to remember: he hurts everywhere and feels weak but the ache of tired muscles has nothing on the pain he can feel blooming in his chest as the last moment he spent with Olivia flashes before his eyes. He can still feel her hands on his shoulder and chest as they danced; it sits heavy on his heart.

He pulls his hands up, looking at them, searching for traces of her blood under his fingernails perhaps; there's nothing. Of course there's nothing.

_Never let me go, never let me go_  
_Never let me go, never let me go_  
  
_Deliver me_

As he gathers his force to get up, he glances at the corner of the room: Derek is asleep in a leather chair there, as if keeping guard of Peter. He opens his eyes after a few seconds of Peter staring, surely feeling someone is watching him, and straightens his posture from the sprawl he was in. Disheveled but alert, he opens his mouth to say something but Peter beats him to it.

"Why?", it's whispered with a quiet intensity that makes Derek hesitates. "Why did you bring me back?"

"It was a Djinn-"

"That's not what I asked!", Peter shouts, sudden, voice cracking slightly on the last word.

"You're family." It's an answer and it's nothing at the same time.

Everything's silent, not even the flutter of a bird's wings outside can be heard; it reminds Peter of that last second, iron on his tongue and the world falling apart. He shakes his head, swallowing his sob.

_Never let me go, never let me go_  
_Never let me go, never let me go_  
  
_Deliver me_

"I didn't want to come back. I didn't." It comes out more watery than he wants it and the look on Derek's face tells him his nephew is surprised by this.

Five minutes later he is out of the house.

* * *

It takes him a good half and hour to get there without a car but he doesn't care; his muscles burn and protest and he pushes on till he sees their grave. It's like a blow to the stomach each time anyway but today is particularly hard.

_Never let me go, never let me go_  
_Never let me go, never let me go_

He doesn't even try to stop the sobs wrecking his body this time, he lets them pour out of him as he kneels in the damp hearth and digs his fingers in the grass.

**_'You said never, Peter! You said never!'_ **

"I'm sorry." It's wrenched from his throat on a sob and once he begins, he can't stop. "I'm so sorry! I love you both so much, I swear I didn't want to go! I didn't and I- I miss you. Every day."

_Never let me go, never let me go_  
_Never let me go, never let me go_

The scream tears itself from deep within his chest, shaping itself in a howl of raw pain and grief.

He can't. He can't do it anymore, it's above what he can support. He's so tired.

  
_And it's over,_  
_And I'm goin' under,_  
_But I'm not givin' up!_  
_I'm just givin' in_  
  
_Oh, slipping underneath_  
_Oh, so cold, but so sweet_

_  
_ He gives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out please
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated: encourages me to pursue the delusion that I do not suck at this
> 
> (Constructive criticism is also welcome, you're allowed to not like it)


End file.
